My mother is still living with her parents. While it is the best place she has lived for the longest period of time; things could be better. They don’t explain things to her or talk to her in a way that she can understand, put undue pressure on her to perform, and do nothing to enrich her life while trying to keep themselves so busy that they can ignore her needs. I know it is generational but I have been trying so hard to get them to help them get more support. I even got them to get mom’s doctor (medicaid/crappy ass psychiatrist) to prescribe her an anti-anxiety medication. The doctor proceeded to scare my grandmother and tell her that it could be habit forming and that my mom (who won’t get near cigarrettes or alcohol or even meds she NEEDS) could become addicted. I want to bitch slap them all because I am a f’ing nurse, have experience with the medication and suggested it might help her in the first place.
My sister and I both are doing all we can to refrain from snatching her up and trying to do better ourselves. We are not ready yet to take full responsibility for our mother who is both intellectually disabled and schizophrenic. We would like to be able to manage her doctor’s and appointments, case management, medicare/medicaid issues, and force my grandparents to receive training in how to help mom. Yet considering that our grandmother keeps us out of the loop ALL THE TIME, even after she asks for help…. It seems like an uphill battle.
The thing about battling is that I am so angry that I want to put them all in their place and put the fear of the pimp hand in them so that they will put their own egos aside and help someone who may be annoying, difficult, and hard to understand but deserves better.
Every time I scour the internet for resources, ideas, places for her to live closer to me, I end up becoming even more frustrated. Why? because Dual Diagnosis is not well served, mom’s caregivers do not give me enough info to go on, and there isn’t a lot of published resources for the general public in our position. I want to do something about that too… I am toying with the idea of making a website/community for caregivers of Intellectually Disabled and Mentally Ill family members on life enrichment, resources, burnout, pre-made customisable schedules for the family, etc. We can’t possibly be alone….